#6: How to Cope When Mother’s Day is Hard - Trudy Stone

#6: How to Cope When Mother’s Day is Hard

Mother’s Day is not a happy day for everyone. For those who have lost a child, long to be a mother, lost their mother or are estranged from their mother, it can be a tough day to get through.

Additionally, one in eight women experiences difficulty getting pregnant. Mother’s Day can be a tough day for a number of women. They go through a number of human emotions that could be quite hard to deal with especially on a day when a Mother & Daughter bond is celebrated everywhere.

 

 

Join me in this episode where I interview two amazing women – Angela McNally and Lesley Eastmond – who’ll help us with ways on how to cope with their fertility journey.

 

Here’s a sneak peak of what’s in this episode:

 

Part 1: Angela McNally

[5:19] Make sure to set your own boundaries on Mother’s Day to find ways to lift yourself up. Being careful of what media you intake that day is so important.

[8:42] Everything is amplified. You’re going to be experiencing those same emotions. 

[8:52] If you’ve experienced loss, like myself, we like to honor our soul babies, the babies that are no longer with us. 

[9:05] Everyone has their own way of attaching to those souls and babies.

[10:21] If you haven’t been able to get pregnant, know that your baby is on the way and connect with it. Whatever you believe this baby to be. 

 [11:02] Don’t compare yourself. Watch the media. Celebrate it, honor it in your own way.

 [14:55] Every situation is so different. One woman might need all the support, and checking in. Another might need privacy and boundaries and to mourn her situation on her own.

 [15:16] Asking them how you can support them is the best way. 

 [16:18] Communicating with “how can I show up for you” would be a million-dollar question. 

 [16:36] Rather than simply assuming you know what that person wants, simply just ask them, “what do you need?” “I’m here for you” and “I’m thinking of you”. It’s a nice gentle nudge. 

[21:02] Fertility can affect your relationship. Not everybody has a beautiful communicative relationship.

 

Part 2: Lesley Eastmond

 [32:31] Building a support community. It’s one of the reasons why I created a group. I knew I wasn’t the only one dealing with this.

 [33:05] Talk to someone who’s unbiased. Be gentle with yourself.

 [36:19] People just acknowledging that I am a mother, helps. It’s a painful reminder but just acknowledging that I, too, am a mother.

 [37:06] Even if you don’t feel it, just still say it. The words that we use, the language that we use, are incredibly important.

 [37:25] Your mind hears everything you say. Your body reacts to that as well.

 [37:31] The most painful thing is somebody to go through the day without being acknowledged. Or make them feel like they’re forgotten or that their journey was forgotten.

 [38:50] Your partner is probably dealing with their own grief… Having that communication, that conversation does a lot. 

 [39:27] It is a painful reminder for partners as well. Oftentimes, men get left behind.  

 [41:45] Once there’s life, there’s hope. That’s what gets me through it.

 

Part 3: Tips from Trudy Stone

 [43:58] Practice self-compassion.

  [46:33] Power of Words and the power of writing things down: 

  [46:38] Reach out to others that may be feeling the same way you’re feeling.

  [47:18] Don’t isolate yourself.  There’s great comfort with connecting with someone.

  [47:24] Find your tribe… Lean on each other for support. 

  [48:13] Honor the sorrow, sadness, and loss.

  [48:55] Expressing your feelings is a way of honoring yourself and the experiences that lead to that sorrow. 

  [49:25] Make a commitment to yourself and the person that you lost, that you will take positive steps to recover and live the best life that you can.

  [49:36] Acknowledge your feelings.

 

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Join me in this episode where I interview two amazing women - Angela McNally and Lesley Eastmond - who’ll help us with ways on how to cope when Mother's Day is hard.